Katrina Kaye

Returns I come backthe way ghosts do,silent,in the night,when you are aloneand can’t stillyour mind. Despite the passageof a thousand daysand the countriesthat grewbetween us,I slip between sheets,a milliontiny insectsover brown skin,and humAmazing Gracebeside your earin a tempotoo slow for you torecognize. Did you knowI never abandoned youeven if you couldn’t feelmy warmth pressedto your side Your eyes may not ofglimpsed me as II hid in thethreads of lastwinter’s overcoat,or while Imerely sulked besideyou over morning coffee,but surelythe scent of pepperminthinted that I was near. I returned intothe faded back dropof your eyelidssilent,in the night,where deathcannot keepme from you.

some mornings
are bestkept to myself
I wakewith eyesstickingan empty wine glassbeside a bottleof sleeping pills
silence isa velvet glovetracing the outlineof bed sheetscreased into skin
the day blocked outby dark curtainleaking only thehint of sunlight
gentle, slow,offering the sweetnessof solitude
some morningsare bestkept to myself
but at other timesthis bed seems hollowand footprintsalign with closeddoors drippinga confessionthat remains unheard

and when theyask: were there tears?
yes, there were tears
and when theywonder: were you angry?
no, I felt no angeronly sadness, only failure
but his armswere shaking withso much angerand sadness
yes, there was sadness,not exactly confessions
I didn’t want to know hishe already knew mine
denial? bargaining?yes, those were there too
but in the endhe never asked me to stayand I never asked himif I could

Katrina Kaye is an educator, writer, publisher, artist, and community organizer. A lifelong creator, she has been published in various ezines, magazines, and anthologies. She also spent time on the performance stage, touring across the country in 2011 and participating in NPS in 2015, before hanging up her microphone. She is the author of two chapbook collections, two out of print collections, and three current books through Swimming with Elephants Publications, LLC. Katrina lives gratefully and happily in New Mexico with the love of her life. She continues to write, perform, and publish her own writing on the website Iron and Sulfur.